Hanging in the Balance
by Ghost of a Heart that Once Was
Summary: Ever wonder what Jake saw at the tree of souls when he was transferring bodies? This is just my take on it. slight JxN


**This story was pretty good before, and I was relatively happy, but then I found it the other day and began reading through it, and realized "Wow, this is SO not good." So I edited the parts that needed fixing, left the rest alone, and this was what was "reborn." Enjoy. **

* * *

Everything was so intense; every whisper was amplified to a scream, the slightest movement seemed to drag on through time, and the beating of Jake's heart was incredibly painful in his chest. With adrenaline released into his veins due to excitement and anxiety, the world seemed to be crashing down around him and the pressure of it all was building in his head.

Jake exhaled loudly to try to calm himself and thought. _"It's going to be fine, I'm gonna come back, everything's cool." _

Right now, he was in Neytiri's arms and was being carried to the base of the Tree of Souls, where he was going to attempt to succeed in what Grace couldn't - he was going to try to become a Na'vi. For good. The very thought of it made him shiver with excitement and fear.

Neytiri felt him shake and looked down. From the beginning she sensed he was nervous. He looked pale, his brow shone with a thin layer of sweat, and she could feel his rapid pulse pass through his skin onto hers. Her eyes swept up and down his body, her golden-green orbs lingered on his legs for a moment, then back to his face. She still could not fully grasp the concept of him not being able to walk, but whenever she had asked, a pained look came to his eyes and she didn't push him any further.

"Jake, you are... nervous?" she asked him in a voice barely above a whisper.

Craning his neck back to get a better view of her face, Jake swallowed and nodded. His throat became suddenly dry. "Yeah," he rasped "I... It's just... I'm afraid I won't come back. That I won't see you ever again."

"Do not worry," she leaned down and kissed his forehead where it was exposed above his mask "You won us the Great Battle and the evil Sky People left us. You are _Toruk Makto_. You have proven you are strong, brave, and kind. Eywa shall reward you. You will come back."

Giving him a quick squeeze, she placed him at the base of the tree and took her place by her mother. Almost immediately after she placed him down, Jake felt the odd, silken tendrils snake up and around his body. A feeling of drowsiness overcame him and the world blurred. Jake struggled to lift his head and look at his mate, but he felt weighed down. The glow all around him was dizzying, so he closed his eyes and was still.

**.:^*^*^:.**

The first thing he noticed was the colors. They all seemed to blur together, all different shades of green, blue, purple, and brown. Jake moaned softly and blinked until the world around him sharpened. He was still human, lying on mossy ground, with warm, golden light streaming between the trees from the west. In front of him was a small, bubbling waterfall flowing down into a crystal clear stream. The cool smell of fresh water mixed with the warm smell of the earth beneath him.

Everything around him seemed to glow, but not the usual neon colors of the forest at night; everything seemed to radiate a hidden energy from the inside out, making the air above the plants seem to shine.

"Hullo, Jakesully." Someone spoke above him.

Jake rolled onto his back to see the newcomer.

When the figure came into view, he felt as though he couldn't breathe. In front of him stood the most beautiful, exotic Na'vi woman he'd ever seen, besides Neytiri. She smiled, only exaggerating her high cheekbones. Her long, raven back hair framed her heart-shaped face and fell down to her knees. Long, white cloths with swirling silver designs were draped over her smooth shoulders and wrapped around her waist.

But her eyes, her eyes were the most catching part. They were wide, shining orbs that slanted up ever so slightly and the irises were a deep blue-green, rather than the green-gold of the Na'vi.

Although she was smiling and her eyes were kind, she seemed to radiate power. Jake shrunk back slightly, the overall effect was both comforting and intimidating.

Her head tilted slightly in understanding and she spread her arms wide.

"Welcome, _Toruk Makto_, to my world," she spoke again, in Na'vi this time, but Jake understood her perfectly. She didn't have just one voice; thousands seemed to echo behind her words. She glided, rather than walked, to him, beads in her hair clinking, and then lifted his chin so his eyes were locked on hers. "My name is Ni`awtu, I am a messenger of Eywa. I believe, on your world, I would be called an 'angel,'" She smiled, as if tasting the word on her tongue "We both know why you are here, yes? You wish to become a Na'vi forever."

Jake swallowed, his throat dry, and nodded. "Yes," he rasped "I - I just... I wish to make up for the mistakes I made, for all the deaths I caused... I..."

Ni`awtu raised a finger to his lips, silencing him. "It is true you made mistakes, but that was before to you knew, before you learned. You were just doing what you felt you had to."

"I did try to make things right though! I did, I-I learned so much from living with the Na'vi and being taught by Neytiri! Things went from helping greedy humans pad their pockets to trying to keep the Omaticaya safe from them! But then everything got out of hand and ..." He trailed off, slightly out of breath from his outburst.

She blinked, mildly surprised. "You need not explain yourself, Jakesullee. I know everything, for I have watched over you. I have seen into you heart and mind, and I have found them to be very strong and very large. It was quite unusual for a Dream Walker," she paused, considering what to say next. Jake sat, apprehensive, and waited for her to continue.

"Although many died, many more of the Omaticaya lived. The Sky People are gone. The Na'vi have a new start. You were meant to come to Pandora. Jakesullee, you do not realize how many hearts you changed, how many people you brought into the light." She beckoned for him to follow. "Come."

Still slightly in disbelief that he was actually talking to an 'angel', so to speak, let alone he just had an outburst in front of her like a child, it took him a moment to register what she said. Shaking his head a bit to rid himself of the fog that seemed to settle in his brain, he hesitantly started to get up off the ground. He fell.

Looking down, he saw pale, thin legs. He was still human.

"_No. No. Nononono __**no**__! I, does this mean... will I stay human?" _He cried in his head.

Ni`awtu glanced back and saw him on the ground, horror etched into his features. She smiled kindly, then went back and helped him up. His head barely came up to her shoulder. She held out her hand and he took it. Upon doing so, he found he could walk, but was too terrified to look anywhere but straight in front. He didn't want to get his hopes up.

Together, the two figures made their way to the stream and then stopped at the water's edge. On the bottom of the brook were smooth, round rocks in purples, greens and pinks, all glowing slightly in the fading sun.

"Look down at your reflection, Jakesullee, and tell me what you see." Eywa told him

"B-but I..."

"I understand that you fear what you will see, but you must."

Jake looked uneasily at the water, as if fearing something was going to leap out at attack him. Then, sighing, he looked down.

Everything seemed to be sucked into a huge, cone-like vacuum. The light, the colors, the smells, everything surrounding him seemed to be drawn forward into a tiny pinprick before his very eyes. While he had the sensation of falling in his stomach, Jake couldn't tell is he was actually falling or not.

Suddenly, kind of what he imagined the Big Bang to have been like, light suddenly grew from that tiny pinprick far ahead of him, until he was surrounded by a bight, white light.

Squinting, Jake could almost make out shapes, figures, people, all of them laughing and dancing and seeming just so very happy.

A voice, whispery yet echoing, spoke from the darkness.

"Jakesullee, you have passed... You are now... one of my children..."

And then, came a familiar voice.

"Good luck, numb nuts."

Then everything rushed back to the stream. Jake gasped, having the sensation of being thrown back into his body. He looked down again, apprehensive this time.

He saw blue.

"Wha-what?"

Ni`awtu laughed at his disbelief, her laugh light and tinkling.

"Jakesullee, you have proven to be brave, loving, powerful, and possess a knowing of what is right. You fought to prevent more destruction, to save lives... these actions were balanced by the ones who were lost. They dwell here now, and are happy. Eywa aided you in battle because of these that. Welcome, to the Omaticaya."

Jake blinked, happiness and wonder overflowing within him. Then, with a happy whoop, he pumped his fists in the air and laughed, all worry gone from his being.

"_Irayo!_ Thank you, thank you! I promise, I won't disappoint you." He said, turning to Ni`awtu, a new light having been ignited in his eyes.

She bowed her head, beads clinking faintly together as her hair fell forward ever so slightly. "I expect greatness from you Jake. Now, go. You have friends waiting."

A wave of dizziness washed over Jake and once again he closed his eyes.

**.:^*^*^:.**

"Jake? Jake...?" Jake heard whispers and felt kisses on his cheeks. He was then shaken ever so slightly.

His memory was hazy, but then he recognized the voice and remembered where he was.

"My Jake..."

He heard the whisper right next to his ear this time, heard the nervous tones, the slight crack on the "k."

Smiling, he opened his eyes.


End file.
